Quiet Revelations in a Crowd
by Cloudtrader
Summary: Jim gets a clue and doesn't freak out.


Title: Quiet Revelations in a Crowd

Author: Maddie Eerie

Fandom: The Sentinel

Pairing: Jim/Blair

Summary: Some things are really obvious, even to the terminally blind.

Note: Part of the Slash Advent Calendar Challenge situated at: http://www.kardasi.com/Advent

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Quiet Revelations in a Crowd

by Maddie Eerie

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Jim Ellison shifted uncomfortably in the hard seat of the lecture room.  He was sitting in the back of a lecture hall at Rainier University, resigned to be there for the next hour while his partner gave his last lecture for the fall semester.  Blair Sandburg only had one class to teach today, but it was an important one.  That was why Blair had begged and pleaded with him for a ride this morning after Blair's junker had once again failed to start.  Jim had grudgingly agreed since it was his day off and he'd had nothing more exciting than vacuuming planned.  Since there was no point in driving home just to turn around and come right back to pick Blair up, he'd decided to stick around and listen to Blair lecture.  Besides, he was a bit curious.

They had been partners for three years.  Sandburg knew everything about him.  At first he'd been uncomfortable and angry having his life under such scrutiny, even though Blair was just trying to help him with his Sentinel problems, but lately it didn't bother him so much.  He'd also recently realized that he didn't know Blair as well as he'd like to.  Watching him teach was a step toward that.

The class was about to start.  The students around him were chatting with each other while rustling around in their backpacks for notebooks and pens and snacks.  Jim listened to various complaints over end-of-term papers being due, finals being stressed over, spouses and lovers and kids being bitched about, the pop quiz some professor had sprung on a group of the students in a previous class.  Someone's cell phone was ringing, another person was opening a bag of potato chips noisily, the girl with the purple hair in the third row was humming tunelessly under her breath, the guy four chairs down was listening to some rap song with a portable CD player, there was a tinkle, like chimes, bells, very soft…

"Okay, okay, time to start!"  Jim blinked as Blair's reassuring tones jerked him out of the semi-zone he'd fallen into.  He focused his attention on his partner and was startled to see how commanding and confident Blair seemed in front of the fifty or so students in the class.  Blair always had a large presence, always drew attention, but this was something different.  He held the attention and respect of every person in the room, including Jim.  It was pretty impressive.

"Well, you all know that finals are next week.  This is your very last class before your final so we're going to review a bit.  The final will cover everything since the midterm, so I hope you all kept good notes!"  Blair grinned around the room at the good-humored groans his students gave him.  "Hey, cheer up, I _could_ have made the final cover the entire semester!"

"You're a sadist, Professor Sandburg!" one of the guys in the back row called out.

Blair waggled his eyebrows suggestively.  "Only in the bedroom, Robert."  The class laughed.  They obviously enjoyed his class.  Jim was proud that Blair was such a good teacher.

"Now, the most important thing you should have learned in this class is the W.I. Thomas Dictum which states…"  Blair paused as the entire class recited, "**If the people in a social system normatively define something as real than in that social system it _is_ real in it's social consequences and sometimes in it's physical consequences.**"  Blair beamed at them as they trailed off.  Jim suppressed his snort of laughter.  Sandburg had obviously drilled that sentence into them word for word.  They'd probably never be able to forget it.  Jim rolled his eyes; his partner was some piece of work.

"Excellent!  Soon you guys will be after my job."

"Not with what you get paid!" someone yelled.

"Then my position is safe.  Let's see how much you guys know, though.  Who can tell me which society prohibits men from eating eggs."  Several hands shot up.  "Scott?"

"The Nuer?"

"Is that a question?"

"Um, no.  It's the Nuer," said the young man named Scott uncertainly.

"You're sure now?"

"Yeah."  
  


"Give the man a prize!  Yep, it's the Nuer that prohibits their men from eating eggs.  Actually, they prohibit men eating anything from a female animal and women eating anything from a male animal.  Okay, somebody tell me the difference between consubstantiation and transubstantiation."

More hands shot up.  Blair pointed to the girl with purple hair.

"With consubstantiation, the divinity is _in_ the holy substance – the bread and wine or the cow or whatever – and with transubstantiation the divine aspect, god, actually _is_ the bread or the cow."

"Precisely.  That was an easy one.  Okay, how about… which culture practices pre-marital cross-cousin lesbianism?"

Jim watched amusedly as the students frantically looked through their notebooks, their professor patiently waiting.

"The Nahane!" someone called out.

"Nope," Blair waved a chastising finger at the offender.  "The Nahane have a form of sanctioned lesbianism that involves transvestitism, but it's not the one I'm looking for.  Okay, here's a hint: the society doesn't originate in the Western Hemisphere.  C'mon people!"

The girl right in front of Jim who had too much perfume on let out a happy squeak as she found the answer and raised her hand.

"Cindy!"  Blair pointed to her.

"The Australian aboriginal population, Professor," she said.

"Yes!"  Blair pumped his arm in the air enthusiastically.  "Go Cindy!"

Jim could feel the heat from her blush.  It looked like Blair had a conquest there.  In fact, half the class probably had crushes on him.  Jim couldn't blame them.  With his eyes sparkling in the heat of his academic fervor, little tendrils of his dark hair escaping from the clasp holding it back, his elegant hands gesturing excitedly as he paced in front of them – well, Blair was beautiful, in both body and mind.  No, Jim couldn't blame them since he was more then a little in love with Blair himself.

Jim held himself very still in his hard little chair, astonished that he'd just thought that.  He focused inward as the students around him frantically tried to remember something about the Zoi or find it in their notes.  Yes… yes, he _was_ in love with Blair!  Had been for quite some time actually.  Jim let the knowledge suffuse his being.  It was a wonderful feeling, being in love with Blair Sandburg.  It was a revelation.  If he'd thought of it before, he would have assumed that it would be had to recognize and accept these feelings, seeing as how it just wasn't done for men to love men in more than a buddy/friend way.  And Jim definitely loved Blair in a way that was neither platonic nor filial.  For a long time now he'd felt something whenever he was with Blair, a tension and a relaxation at the same time.  Attraction.  Jim smiled bemusedly; he was attracted to Blair, sexually attracted.  Wow.  That was just… wow.

He should probably be freaking out about now, but oddly he wasn't.  Jim didn't know what to think about that except that… it was Blair.  He really should have expected this since Blair was already the center of his universe, the anchor his sanity was tethered to.  Blair broke down all his barriers, brought out all of his repressions.  Maybe Jim wasn't as straight as he'd thought all his life, maybe he had actually been attracted to other men before but had repressed it, and only Blair had ever put him at ease enough to consciously realize it.

Okay, now the big question: did Blair love him back?  Jim refocused his attention on his partner.  Sandburg was still going strong, engaging his students with his passion for the subject.

"Right, now you all know that the fourth step of the Schachter Effect is avoidance of the deviant, kicking them out of the group… at least, I hope you all know that."  Blair paused to give his students a mock-suspicious glare and allow them to laugh before continuing, "but can someone tell me what the difference between soft and hard schachtering in the last stage?"

"Soft schachtering is when conformists just don't involve themselves with the deviant while hard schachtering is when the conforming majority actually kills the deviant," one of the students said.

"Exactly, and during times of social stress, soft schachtering often becomes hard schachtering because conformers blame a dislike minority group for their problems.  Give me some examples of this from our own history, people!"

"The increase in lynching during the Depression!"

"The Holocaust."

"Crimes against gays."

"That Arab taxi driver that was killed by a mob!"

Blair nodded.  "Yep, all of those, and quite a bit of the civil rights movement…"  Jim's intent stare finally registered on Blair and he gave Jim a brilliant smile before continuing on with his lesson.  
  


Jim leaned back in his chair, immensely satisfied.  Yeah, Blair loved him.  That really wasn't much of a revelation; more like something he'd always known.  Jim knew he probably had a huge shit-eating grin on his face.  He saw that now, too.  It was so obvious!  They belonged together.  It was a few weeks early, but this revelation was the best Christmas present he'd ever gotten.  Jim couldn't wait for this class to be over so he could tell his partner – soon to be lover, he hoped – that Christmas had come early, or Hanukkah was lasting longer this year, whatever.  Jim couldn't wait to unwrap his present.

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The End

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